29 November 2007

Taranaki writer pens Taranaki-related headline of the year

'New claims rock jandal orthodoxy' is pretty hard to beat, I think you'll find.  And don't forget to watch out for those pesky ceaseless icon thieves, either.   
- Taranaki Daily News, 29 November 2007

23 November 2007

What's my daemon?

At the moment apparently she's Vyena the gibbon. A gibbon, eh? I hope she's funky, at the very least.

22 November 2007

How To Sleep

Robert Benchley's short film from 1935 won an Oscar, don'tcha know. Pay attention in front! No drifting off.

[Source: mentioned in the New York Times]

Exceeding KPIs earns you priority entry to heaven

The Vatican has announced performance bonuses for its employees, bringing 'an element of incentive and remuneration into the Vatican salary system'.  But surely everyone knows that most people just photocopy their workmates' old performance appraisals anyway?
BBC News, 22 November 2007

08 November 2007

Far-fetched story of the week

Schoolboy's birthday treat?  A class stripper
A stunned schoolboy was given a birthday to remember when a stripper performed a no-holds-barred routine for him - while he was still in class.  The youngster's mother asked an agency to send a man dressed in a gorilla suit to mark his 16th birthday.  But the booking got mixed up and a 'sexy policewoman' turned up at the unnamed lad's drama class.  His fellow students could only look as she stripped off and invited him to rub cream on her bottom.  Now education officials have launched an investigation into the incident at Arnold Hill School in Nottingham.  A witness said: 'We were in shock'.
- Metro, 8 November 2007
[Imagine the kid's conversation with his mum when he got home from school that day...]

03 November 2007

A glutton for punishment

"I'm going to go with something Japanese this time"

- Vince 'Will he never learn' Mattingley, who had his name tattooed on his chest in Chinese 26 years ago and has just discovered that it actually spells 'Coca-Cola' (Source: Guardian, 27 October 2007)