29 December 2006
Use the mouse to control your ship. As a guide, in my one try I managed a score of 13,060. As you get an extra life for completing each level it can get a little bit easy until the faster levels.
28 December 2006
It is, scientists said yesterday, the glow from the first things to form in the universe, more than 13 billion years ago. Snapped by NASA's Spitzer space telescope, the bizarre objects must have existed within a few hundred million years of the Big Bang, 13.7 billion years ago'
- Sydney Morning Herald, 20 December 2006
[See the link above for the groovy pic, dudes]
- Dominion Post, 28 December 2006
22 December 2006
- US media personality and former jailbird Martha Stewart, on her brief relationship with Sir Anthony Hopkins
[Courtesy of Louwrens. What about your knee in Paree? Or your neck in Bishkek?]
21 December 2006
BUS: Box, upright, with seats
CAR: Carriage, automotive, reverses
TAXI: Tatty automobile, xenophobe inside'
- Flight International, 5-11 December 2006
- NZ Herald, 22 December 2006
[Courtesy of Al]
17 December 2006
Christmas shopping without the long queues, masses of people, traffic jams, and parking hassles – impossible? Not for the hundreds of New Zealanders who are choosing this year to do their shopping online. Timaru woman Kimberley Fisher decided to surf the net recently after having no success in several stores to find a specific DVD. "I couldn't find it in the shops so I tried online. It was simple, just a click of the mouse and cheap postage as well, it got here in about 10 days."
Although the 20-year-old said she still preferred reality shopping, when looking for something in particular the internet was perfect.
- Timaru Herald, 18 December 2006
[What, so the internet isn't real?]
- Time Magazine, 13 December 2006, also reporting by BBC
[You're in good company. Hitler won it in 1938, and Stalin the next year. Scoop has theorised that perhaps Time intended to award the title to 'YouTube' but the cover was too narrow...]
14 December 2006
"Mateship is a great Australian concept, it's a concept of everybody pulling together in common adversity," he said. "It's a concept of treating people according to how you find them and not according to the colour of their skin. It's very much part of our ethos. You say 'How do you test it?'. Well, I'm not going to start canvassing what the test is."
- Sydney Morning Herald, 12 December 2006
- Guardian, 11 December 2006
[How apt! The interview is worth reading too - see link above]
"She was completely humourless and inflexible, and showed no understanding of my excitement about the Ashes," he fumed. "She confiscated the ball for most of our conversation, gave me a verbal warning and said she was being very lenient." But a spokesman for the police raised a hitherto unforeseen danger: "What if the ball was dropped and hit an old lady further down the escalator?" Old ladies beware'
- Jenny Thompson on Cricinfo, 11 December 2006
Bound for glory
07 December 2006
- West Australian, 7 December 2006
For all the gory details, see the story link below.
- Manawatu Standard, 7 December 2006
[Managed 20,300 points in my one go at it]
"He [Diawara] brings out an extra six to twelve inches and it's a fantastic tackle. "
SCOTT MINTO, BBC
"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."
"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." TREVOR BROOKING
"In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale."
For all these and more, see this brilliant yet thoroughly unofficial site...
[Courtesy of Al]
Don't Shoot Your Eye Out!
[Courtesy of Louwrens, who managed 254. I got 242...]
"Well, Jim," Reagan replied calmly, "'The Sound of Music' was on last night'".
- Economist, 2 December 2006
- Brendan Boyle reviews 'Thermopylae: The Battle That Changed the World' by Paul Cartledge, New York Sun, 4 December 2006
03 December 2006
- Taranaki Daily News, 1 December 2006
02 December 2006
'Some of the money was spent in contacting the Russian mafia as we tried to clone mammoths. But you can't say that [on an expense claim] so we expensed it as money for cows for experiment'
- Disgraced South Korean stem-cell scientist Woo Suk Hwang explains his expenses, Reuters, 24 Oct, quoted in New Scientist, 4 November 2006
Clive James knows perfectly well that a man with a talent to amuse will always have some difficulty persuading the public that he can, so to speak, quote Wittgenstein. And, once they know that he is also from “the bush”, they will expect some coarse material, too. Thus it’s brave of him to stand by the original version of his much-misquoted image of Arnold Schwarzenegger (it was “a brown condom stuffed with walnuts”) against subsequent plagiarism and dilution. He coins a new term for authorial humiliation, when he speaks of a publisher’s “advance” that is really a retreat.
- Christopher Hitchens reviews North Face of Soho (Unreliable Memoirs, Vol. 4) by Clive James, Times, 15 November 2006
[If you're interested, the Guardian has an entertaining spoof digested read of NFoS, which includes this passage on his filmstar interviewing: 'It wasn't an unmitigated success, as I invariably had a better understanding of the actors' work than they did, but it was none the less instructive']
- Laurent Lefevre, owner of Au Metro bar in the 14th Arrondissement of Paris, on France's decision to ban smoking in bars and restaurants from 2007. (AFP, quoted in New Scientist, 14 October 2006)
- Guardian Weekly, 3 November 2006
- Letter to the editor from Robert Wallace Blake, Economist, 4 November 2006
01 December 2006
A Christchurch Catholic school principal was accused of "working for Satan" after allowing pupils to work with Muslim girls on a school project. St Thomas of Canterbury College principal Bruce Stevenson was abused over the phone by a woman objecting to a Young Enterprise Scheme project involving a group of Year 11 boys and Muslim girls from the United Muslimahs of Canterbury. Stevenson said the woman accused him of working for Satan and that he would go to hell for his actions.
- The Press, 1 December 2006
'One man abandoned his drunken girlfriend asleep and told the cabbie that he was leaving her as a tip. Another driver was lumbered with a man wearing only underpants. Other taxi drivers in the capital have reported finding a machinegun, an antique telescope and a bag of diamonds worth £100,000 on the rear seats of their cabs'
- The Times, 28 November 2006
The key to finding good humor fodder is that the story must be NEARLY funny without being completely funny on its own. For example, if I see a story about some spatially challenged burglar who got his head stuck in a chimney, and a stork built a nest in his ass, that’s already completely funny. There’s nothing for me to add.
What I’m looking for is a story that makes me giggle before I even know why – the potential is there but it needs some magic humor dust to make it all that it can be. I mention this because I was reading on MSNBC.com that the Pope is visiting Turkey. This is 50% funny all by itself.
Then I read that 20,000 Muslim protesters in Istanbul were chanting “Pope don’t come!” (Seriously.)
- The Dilbert Blog: Nearly Funny Things