"I never make predictions and I never will"

For years Private Eye has been running a series of joyful sporting media gaffe quotes called 'Colemanballs', such as the one in the title (the large-looming Paul 'Gazza' Gascoine), and ones like these:

"He [Diawara] brings out an extra six to twelve inches and it's a fantastic tackle. "
SCOTT MINTO, BBC

"If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again."
TERRY VENABLES

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." TREVOR BROOKING

"In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale."
JOHN LYALL

For all these and more, see this brilliant yet thoroughly unofficial site...

Colemanballs

[Courtesy of Al]