Zombie queen a part of history

A digital poster for the London Dungeon featuring the sudden transformation of Queen Mary into a zombie-like character has been banned by the advertising watchdog for scaring children.

The ad, developed by the agency Farm, ran on digital screens throughout London Underground stations.

Over the period of a few seconds an image of a serene Queen Mary – dubbed "Bloody Mary" for her persecution of Protestants – sitting on a chair, morphs into a zombie-like character with sunken eyes, pale skin, a wide-open mouth and a scarred face.

The Advertising Standards Authority received four complaints that the ad was likely to frighten and distress children and was "inappropriate for display in an untargeted medium" such as digital escalator panels [...]

Merlin Entertainments, which runs the London Dungeon, said that in order to "avoid causing fear and distress" it had followed London Underground's guidelines in "avoiding flames and excessive, dripping or running blood".

The company said that it had planned to run the ad again on the London Underground during the summer school holidays and Halloween.

It was meant to show the "dark side of [Queen Mary's] personality and portray her as a villain", Merlin added. The company said that the ad was "obviously historical and in no way irresponsible or gratuitous".

- Guardian, 14 July 2010

[The ad was 'historical': so does that mean Queen Mary was 'obviously' a zombie? I saw this ad and remember thinking that if it gave me the willies, what would little kids make of it?]

But inherent contradictions are on the rise

House values up in static market

Quotable Value statistics released today show Nelson property values are 5.1 per cent up while Tasman is 6.1 per cent above the same time last year, but that increase has dropped from 6.3 and 7.5 per cent respectively during the last month. The average sale price in Nelson was $376,290 in Nelson and $390,563 in Tasman during June.

QV Nelson valuer Geoff Butterworth said people weren't buying or selling unless they needed to.

"Listings are low, as is demand, and prices are relatively static"

- Nelson Mail, 12 July 2010

How to be an IT professional

From an interview with three IT professionals:

Does the advice "turn it on and off" really work?

Bob: With surprising regularity. From an outsider's point of view, that is everything that we do.

Harry: It solves 80% of problems. You've got to know when to switch it on and off. Switch it off, wait 10 seconds, then switch it on, that's the trick.

Shaheen: It does, but IT people dress it up. They'll say, "Have you given it a service reboot?" There's quite a few euphemisms they've developed because it's often effective. Like a "power recycling", "refresh" and things like that.

- Guardian, 9 July 2010

Pesky M

James Bond is having a spot of bother with M, who keeps ringing him up to discuss Shakespeare. Jolly inconvenient, what?

A little proof-reading never hurts

'Monday 5 until Friday 23 July, inclusive, southbound trains to Aldgate do not serve Baker Street. Off-peak southbound trains from Amersham terminate at Wembley Park.

Amended by MM as per request from Phil Dunwell. JP seelcted to display message when results are returned'.

- TFL Metropolitan Line travel advisory, 5 July 2010

How to impress the ladies

'At ten o'clock this morning a robbery was committed on the [Wimbledon] Common by a single highwayman on a coach and four. It seems the robber ordered the coachman to stop and then immediately drove the muzzle of his pistol through the coach window to the edification of four squabbling females and one miserable male. However, the gentleman would not give up his money and attempted to seize the highwayman through the window - by which daring feat he cut his wrist most dreadfully and was nearly brought out of it [the coach] entirely by the robber who in turn seized him. If the ladies had not held their valorous knight by the coat with all their strength, he would have been ignominiously dragged through the window.

I shall certainly order my servants to carry loaded pistols with them when I go my pleasant airings now for the future'

- Countess Spencer writing to her husband, October 1784, quoted in Richard Milward, Wimbledon Two Hundred Years Ago, 1996.

Life's such a struggle when you're cutting back

From an article in which journalists describe the ways their families have been trying to cut back on spending, here's Jonathan Prynn:

By making the most of the aisle-end deals we probably did cut 25 per cent off the normal shopping bill. But at what cost to family well-being? I was also quite put out that I could not find my favourite type of butter —from Brittany with embedded sea salt crystals.

- Evening Standard, 30 June 2010

That's not a very constructive contribution

From a discussion of the 16th century negotiations between Spain and Portugal on the line of demarcation between their two overseas empires, known as the Tordesillas Line:

To symbolise the strict impartiality of the deliberations, the summit was held on a bridge spanning the Guadiana River, along the Spanish-Portuguese border, but the location nearly undid the conference. As the distinguished members of the Portuguese delegation happened to be walking across the bridge, they were stopped by a small boy, who asked if they were carving up the world with King Charles. The former governor of India, Diogo Lopes de Sequeira, acknowledged that indeed they were. At that, the boy lifted his shirt, turned to reveal his bare bottom, and with his small finger traced the line between his buttocks.

"Draw your line right through this place!" he declared.

- Laurence Bergreen, Over The Edge of the World: Magellan's Terrifying Circumnavigation of the Globe, New York, 2003

'Never have I been accused of corduroy'

When he was cited by Tatler as a champion of corduroy, he threatened to sue the magazine. "I will tolerate most things said about me," he told me. "I've been accused of misogyny, racism, sodomy, homophobia, plagiarism, drug addiction, whoremongering, being a pimp, pervert and prostitute but never have I been accused of corduroy".

- Sebastian Shakespeare remembers Sebastian Horsley, author of Dandy in the Underworld, Evening Standard, 25 June 2010

Little Master Cricket

A 'rag-doll' style cricket batting game that works surprisingly well. You can either go out blasting or try for the slow and steady approach. My best score so far: 143 282 378 522.

Little Master Cricket