How to have a number one hit (the easy way)

Paraphrased from the KLF's famous tome, The Manual: How To Have A Number One Hit (The Easy Way), here's how to make your very own chart-storming hit record, in 100 words or less:

'[The song must] have a dance groove that will run all the way through the record and that the current record buying generation will find irresistible. Secondly, it must be no longer than three minutes thirty seconds [or] DJs will start fading early or talking over the end, when the chorus is finally being hammered home - the most important part of any record. Thirdly, it must consist of an intro, a verse, a chorus, second verse, a second chorus, a breakdown section, back into a doubke length chorus, and outro. Fourthly, lyrics. You will need some, but not many'

- Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty

[a.k.a. the KLF, who had five UK singles, all of which reached the top 5. 3AM Eternal reached number 1]