Got them screaming southerlies blues

'A few days ago, my husband, an Englishman whom I lured to Wellington with false promises of a sun-soaked Pacific paradise, finally lost it.  

 

"This summer is an OUTRAGE!", he ranted, as he pulled on his second fleece.  "Why have we come to this godforsaken place?  We must leave now!  We must pack up our things and go!".

 

He has jungle fever; he has gone troppo.  It is too much for him.  And it is too much for me.

 

There is only one solution.  If farmers can be offered recompense for flood damage, Wellingtonians should be given compensation for being deprived of the one season that makes it possible for us to tolerate staying here for the rest of the year.

 

I hereby promise my vote in the next general election to the first party that agrees to fund a fortnight in Fiji for anyone unlucky enough to live in Wellington'

 

- Linley Boniface bemoans the pitiless un-summer, Dominion Post, 8 January 2007